One…One Hour of My Life Wasted, Two…Two Hours of My Life Wasted

I watched the movie adaptation of The Phantom of the Opera last night, and it was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen!

Why did the Phantom sound like Dracula, and where did he learn that singing with emotion means yelling everything? I recently mentioned to someone that I had not seen the movie yet, and she told me “Oh, the Phantom is like nothing you’ve ever heard before”. Well, she’s right about that. When I want to listen to someone singing, I generally like to listen to someone who can actually sing.

Oh, and silly me, I thought Raoul was from Paris. Turns out he may be from the Midwest, USA. I mean the only time he even attempted an accent was when he was singing with Christine, and then he just mimicked her. Oh, and did he not wonder why half of the lines that he spoke rhymed? It’s because they are part of a song that is supposed to be sung, Genius!

Oh ya, an electric guitar solo in the middle of the title song? UGHHHHH!

Several other things that disappointed me include:

• the chandelier falling at the end of the movie instead of the middle
  
• the choreography
  
• the lip-syncing just slightly off from the actual singing
  
• the Phantom’s face wasn’t nearly ugly or scary enough under his mask – this is Hollywood, right?
  
• the Phantom wasn’t old enough (I know they were trying to go for sexy, but hello, Sean Connery, Mel Gibson, Bruce Willis... all very sexy and over 50 – Now I’m not saying that any of these actors would have been good to cast, I’m just saying that an older actor could have done it better)
  
• the black and white flash-forward scenes
  
• at the masquerade ball, the Phantom shows up in a very boring costume and mask instead of the incredible Red Death costume of the stage play (shown here)
  

I have seen the touring company of the stage play twice, and both times, as soon as the first note of orchestration was played, the hair on my arms stood up and tears sprang to my eyes. It was magical! Of course, tears sprang to my eyes several times during this movie too. Unfortunately it was for all the wrong reasons. I was just so disappointed.

For me there were only 2 good things about this show, and that was Christine, played by Emmy Rossum, and Carlotta, played by Minnie Driver. Okay, make that 3 things, because I also thoroughly enjoyed the singing voice of Carlotta (Margaret Preece). Other than that, this movie gets a big thumbs down from me.